Four of us met for some brekky at an eye watering 7.00am. Present were me, Skeggsy, Rs2k and Killswitch. Billie and Rs2k had done some reconnaissance and had located the pen, so off we went. Our intention was to follow the $cars to wherever they operate and identify some honeypots for a $chunt on Saturday, following the meeting we had planned with the residents. Therefore no colours were worn and
definitely no masks.
There are two exits to the pen, so we split up with two at the front and two at the back. We had been told they operate two smart cars and an unmarked car. First one out was a smart car and Rs2k was off, leaving me alone at the back gate. Then, the unmarked grey Vauxhall Corsa went on his way. And indeed it was entirely unmarked when it left the pen. I think I must have managed to tag along without being spotted, because the $car stopped in Browning Road and started enforcing a bus lane/gate/no entry for motor vehicles offence. I was intrigued as to where the camera was on the car as we had been told it was mounted on the dashboard and I had seen no evidence of any camera on the journey over, so I thought I would take a few photos of the area and try to be as discreet as possible. Fat chance.
While I'm standing there I was passed by a smart car that had a long since spotted Rs2k in tow, and which held two CEOs who gave me a long hard stare when they saw me taking photos of signage just along from the $car. So my cover was blown and I went for broke. I photographed the recently adorned $car (one magnetic camera sign on the bonnet and a nondescript magnetic Newham Council sign on the passenger door) from all angles and then walked up for a closer look at the sophisticated dashboard camera that undoubtedly popped out of the specially modified dashboard at the touch of a button. So imagine my surprise when I got there and found a Heath Robinson contraption mounted on the dashboard and steering wheel that formed a base for the highly sophisticated (not), hand held Sony camera that uses those mini tape thingys.
The locals started taking an interest at this point and I was given some very useful intel, particularly the fact that the $car is normally there for at least three to four hours at a time. Imagine my surprise then, when the $car suddenly made a move about 30 minutes after arriving. I followed the $car and was not surprised to find myself back at the front entrance to the pen, where I joined Skeggsy and KS.
Neither was it a surprise to us when an official from Mouchel came marching towards us. To give him credit he was very nice and actually asked if we wouldn't mind talking to him. Of course we didn't mind at all and we set about educating him in the art of $chunting, including handing him several copies of the Statement of Intent. At one point Killswitch mentioned that some of us wear masks when we are $chunting, and to demonstrate I got mine out of my top box and put it on. I had not thought much of this at the time, nor did the Mouchel guy take any particular offence or fright at the mask. However, it became significant later as I will explain.
After that me and Skeggsy went round to the back gate in case the $car made a bolt for it, but we were pretty sure what would happen next... We were not disappointed.
At some point Rs2k arrived back with the $car he had been following and he joined KS at the front gate.
Then what we had predicted would happen, happened, but not quite as we expected. Two beat bobbies, (both young enough to be my kids) turned up and approached the security guard asking him what he knew about some "youths" who were apparently terrorising $car drivers three at a time, who were wearing masks and chasing after them on their motorbikes. So now I'm officially a YOUTH!!!!
You can imagine their reaction when the security guy pointed at me and Skeggsy and told them that maybe we were the ones they were looking for. Two unmasked, smiling, not so youthful bikers who were highly amused by what they had just been accused of. They came over and asked if we wouldn't mind giving them our names. I politely asked if it was absolutely necessary at this stage, and they said it wasn't a problem until such time as it was established we had done something wrong, if we had indeed done so. So then me and Skeggsy set about educating the cops in the way of the Mob and they were clearly impressed when we showed them the Statement of Intent and the stuff about our right to take photos of anyone or anything in a public place.
Skeggsy contacted Rs2k and KS while we waited for our accusers to arrive and they cruised round the corner a little time afterwards. This time the Mouchel crew arrived mob handed, with the next one up the chain of command in charge of our earlier interrogator and two $car drivers. Her name was Bev and she was pissed off and incredibly aggressive towards us. That's when the experience of previous encounters came in really useful, and we instinctively knew we were going to have fun with our Bev.
She repeated her accusations that we had been terrorising her drivers by following them around, three at a time, wearing masks, and also complained that we were taking photos without permission. This last was quickly dismissed by the cops who told our Bev in no uncertain terms that we can photograph anything we like and there was nothing anyone can do to stop this. One nil to the Mob.
Then the cops did their jobs properly and allowed us to put our side of things, which we did, and which clearly didn't reflect any truth in what we were being accused of. Realising she had been caught in a lie, Bev then went on the offensive by suggesting that in future we might intimidate her drivers by following them home and exposing their personal details to angry members of the public. That's when the copper asked if she had seen the statement of intent, which by a remarkable coincidence she was holding. Oh dear!
We then explained to the cops and Bev exactly what it says on the SoI, i.e. we have no interest in the drivers. It's the $cars we are interested in. It was fast becoming clear that despite all of Bev's protestations, we hadn't in fact done anything illegal, and this was confirmed when the male copper actually told Bev (I didn't hear it but KS says he did) she was wasting police time.
Two nil to the Mob.
This copper also said that it was hardly likely that we would hand them a carefully worded SoI, then cover our faces with scary masks and go around terrorising people we have clearly set out to help do their jobs. Three nil to the Mob and the crowd are now chanting EASY. EASY. EASY.
In the end Bev's pram was empty of toys, so she rounded up her troops and retired back inside their heavily secured base that has CCTV monitors everywhere. Four nil. Game over. Bye bye Bev.
We waved a cheery goodbye to the nice police officers (who still don't have our details because
WE HADN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG) and went about our lawful business.
After that we had some discussions about what had just gone on (which consisted mainly of us verbally replaying certain moments and nearly falling off our bikes with laughter at the ludicrous antics we had just witnessed) and decided that we should go back to the front gate to make sure they weren't sneaking out to enforce again. It turns out that there is a maze of back roads that make this particular journey far longer than it had to be because of the existence of a no entry for motor vehicles sign at the end of a road just along from the back entrance where we were. So we decided to get off our bikes, turn our engines off and push them along the pavement to avoid performing the illegal manoeuvre.
And guess what we saw when we got there. Yep! The unmarked $car was enforcing that very junction.
It turns out it's another nice little earner for them. It would have been rude not to lend them a hand, so Rs2k and KS stayed, while me and Skeggsy went off to find another $car, which we did thanks to a phone call from one of the shop owners (who incidentally was at the meeting yesterday). We followed it around for a while and managed to save a couple of illegal parkers from getting tickets before calling it a day and going round to Rs2k's gaff for a nice cup of tea (cheers mate
).
So once again we avoided being arrested for being public spirited citizens.
Unfortunately our accusers, who were not so public spirited, also avoided arrest even though they probably deserved it because they lied to the cops to try to get us into trouble.