Author Topic: Is it me?  (Read 5113 times)

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Offline Pat Pending

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Is it me?
« on: 19 March, 2012, 09:26:21 PM »
I went to my Doctors surgery / medical practice  (I can see why they call it a Practice) this afternoon to try and make an appointment for this evenings session. This is how the conversation went.

Me. I would like to make an appointment to see the doctor for this evening please.

Reception Stasi. You need to phone in for an appointment at 4 Oclock.

Me. But I am here now why cant you make the appointment now? (now being half past three)

Stasi. No you have to phone in at 4 Oclock.

So I go home & have a cup of tea and phone in at 4 Ofecking clock.

Me. I want to make an appointment to see the doctor for this evening please.

Stasi. The only appointmant I have is for 10 minutes time, if you can make it for then otherwise it will have to be tomorrow W:T:F: W:T:F: W:T:F: is this Bitch winding me up or what? She saw me limp in to the surgery no more than Half an hour ago.

I get to the surgery in pretty good time for a cripple I thought.

Me. I am here for my 10 past appointment (time now being exactly 11 mins past)

Stasi. Looks at her watch with a face like a Bull Dog chewing a Wasp, then says very abruptly  take a seat.

I thought I like to take this seat and smack you over the head with it ya fecking Bitch.

So I get in to see the Doctor and discuss what was ailing me and I am given a prescription and told to make an appointment to see the Nurse tomorrow.  And then I do the unthinkable by mentioning another minor ailment. :o
I am told my 10 minutes is up and I will have to make another appointment.  W:T:F: W:T:F: W:T:F:

Sooooo round three with the Stasi.

Me. I need to make an appointment to see the Nurse tomorrow please.

Stasi. I can give you 13:20 for tomorrow. ( oh well perhaps things are looking up after all) :dancing:

Stasi. Oh no that's only for 10 mins the tests you need are allocated for 20 minute slots.

Me.   :bashy: :bashy: :bashy: Oh I bloody give up  :bashy: :bashy: :bashy:

Now the Bitch answers the phone and is talking to a colleague about meeting they have to attend some time next week FOR FIVE FECKING MINUTES >:( >:( >:(

I am now contemplating exactly how this Bitch is going to meet her death in a hit and run this evening, when the Doctor walks in to the reception and sees the man who was in her room Ten minutes ago! yes a whole fecking session 10 minutes ago was still here.

The Doctor asked me if there was a problem so I said, have you got 10 minutes and I'll tell you. :idea:

With that the Stasi Bitch from hell who now realises the Doctor is behind her went all coy and said I think I can change that to a twenty minute slot with no problem. ( OH GOODY FUCKING GUM DROPS )

I am now putting the feelers for a new Doctors surgery to register with as this one will have me on Valium in no time at all. <_>

Is it me <_>







Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Beer in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up,  totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a  ride!!"

Offline Kill Switch

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #1 on: 19 March, 2012, 10:24:22 PM »
Yeah it's you, I wouldn't give you a 2 minute slot, and as for your gammy leg, hop it mate  :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice


Offline Pat Pending

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #2 on: 19 March, 2012, 10:32:46 PM »
Are you in training for a Doctors Receptionist job KS? cos I think you have reached the required standard mate. :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Beer in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up,  totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a  ride!!"

Offline Kill Switch

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #3 on: 19 March, 2012, 11:15:12 PM »
There's hope for me yet  :rotfl: :rotfl:
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice


Offline billie.skeggs

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #4 on: 20 March, 2012, 07:30:06 AM »
but you have to master this phrase..

"just take some nurofen"

Offline seggsy

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #5 on: 20 March, 2012, 12:20:17 PM »
In my surgery an appointment tomorrow would be considered preferencial treatment. I have to really arrange your sickness/injuries carefully and I wouldn't stand a chance of any appointment within the week.
I have never actually succeeded in seeing my doctor, all I ever get are nurses of varying qualifications, "oh I can't do that you will have to see Nurse Soandso". Recepstasi "Nurse Soandso isn't available until a week on Thursday do you want that appointment". I have given up and now go the NHS walk in centres.
Politicians doncha just 'ate em

Offline The Bald Eagle

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #6 on: 20 March, 2012, 12:38:52 PM »
Haven't you figured it out yet Pat?

What is your surgery's phone number? It doesn't begin 0845 by any chance...?
WE ARE WATCHING YOU

Offline Pat Pending

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #7 on: 20 March, 2012, 12:44:15 PM »
Haven't you figured it out yet Pat?

What is your surgery's phone number? It doesn't begin 0845 by any chance...?

First thing I checked BE but it is still the local number  <_>  I think it is a new NHS fast-rack test to check Blood Pressure and to see if you are at a high risk of Heart Attack.   :bashy: :bashy: :bashy:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Beer in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up,  totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a  ride!!"

Offline DastardlyDick

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #8 on: 21 March, 2012, 05:48:26 AM »
Blimey - and I thought the lot at my Doctors were bad!!

Sorry if I'm being stupid, but why does the phone number make a difference?

Offline Ewan Hoosami

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #9 on: 21 March, 2012, 09:11:32 AM »
A lot of companies are switching to 0845 and 0870 numbers now because they get a nice kickback from the phone service provider for all the premium rate calls. Try complaining about something and measure how long you are kept on hold and then after explaining your problem being transferred to another department to be kept on hold again. Rinse and repeat, etc.

Fortunately there is a workaround for most of them;

http://www.saynoto0870.com/
Appealing to the council is like playing chess with a pigeon. You might be a chess grand master but the pigeon will always knock all the pieces over, shit on the board and then strut around triumphantly.

Offline Pat Pending

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #10 on: 21 March, 2012, 09:56:52 AM »
DD  I have no idea why they insist on me phoning in it is a local number and not an 0870 or any other premium number. It cant be that they use an outside company to book appointments as the Bitch did it while I was there eventually.
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Beer in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up,  totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a  ride!!"

Offline Ewan Hoosami

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #11 on: 21 March, 2012, 10:36:39 AM »
You fell for the trap. 0845s are Low-call which sounds a lot like local. Welcome to kick-back city.

 :-ev-:
Appealing to the council is like playing chess with a pigeon. You might be a chess grand master but the pigeon will always knock all the pieces over, shit on the board and then strut around triumphantly.

Offline Pat Pending

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #12 on: 21 March, 2012, 04:04:14 PM »
No Sorry Ewan it is local 020 8958 which is the Edgware area code or one of them anyway.

Anyway I had an appointment today for 12:20 so I left work at 12:00 and while I am driving my phone rings so I pull over and see who it was that tried to call me, it was the doctors surgery!
So I called them back and said somebody just tried to call me, Stasi Bitch from hell said she would ask arround and put me on hold before I could tell her I was on my way in to the surgery. A minute passes then she comes back on saying she had checked with everybody and no one had phoned, I said did you check with the nurse as I have an appointment with her. Stasi Bitch now says I will check, to which I replied you just told me you had checked!
I am put through to the Nurse who wants to check if I am coming to my appointment. :bashy: :bashy: :bashy: :bashy: :bashy:
Any way after I tell her I was on my way when I had to stop to answer the phone, she says ok see you soon.
When I get to the Surgery I am informed I am late for my appointment (NO SHIT SHERLOCK!) :bashy: :bashy: :bashy: :bashy: :bashy:
I explained that the phone call I had to stop to answer that made me late was from this Surgery!!! do you have anything else you would like to bring up Hmmmm?
It all went quiet,...... fecking funny that init.
I was called in by the nurse at that point who apologised for keeping me waiting.  ::))) SO I WASN'T FECKING LATE YOU FECKING BASTARD EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING WHO MUST HAVE BEEN WANKED OFF AGAINST A WALL AND HATCHED OUT IN THE SUN.  I don't think I said the last bit out aloud.  ::)))
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Beer in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up,  totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a  ride!!"

Offline Ewan Hoosami

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #13 on: 21 March, 2012, 05:57:31 PM »
Sounds like she has a promising career in parking services.

 :D
Appealing to the council is like playing chess with a pigeon. You might be a chess grand master but the pigeon will always knock all the pieces over, shit on the board and then strut around triumphantly.

Offline Pat Pending

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #14 on: 21 March, 2012, 06:16:55 PM »
Now you mention it Ewan I can see the similarities.  :o
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Beer in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up,  totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a  ride!!"