Author Topic: Parking industry hailed as the future of motoring  (Read 2610 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Ewan Hoosami

  • Administrator
  • Follower
  • *****
  • Posts: 2226
  • Veni, Vidi, $chunti. I came, I saw, I assisted.
Parking industry hailed as the future of motoring
« on: 21 May, 2015, 06:32:11 PM »
Cow poo powered bus sets land speed record,

The parking industry has inadvertently solved the world's fuel problems. Scientists have found a way to harness the energy from the huge amount of bullshit produced by the BPA Ltd. Monday Musings can now be printed off, shredded and tipped into fuel tanks. Parking industry bullshit can now be used to fuel engines for generations to come. As oil has now become redundant, parking managers can take the place of fuel pumps. Simply attach a parking managers lips to your fuel filler neck and ask them to explain the benefits of well managed parking facilities.

A spokesweasel from the Bullshit Purveyors Association said, "The BPA Ltd has always welcomed forward thinking technologies like this". He went on to say, "As  motorists stop for a Monday Musing top-up, they can receive a condescending lecture about how selfish they are for stopping at a BPA Ltd refuelling station".

Prices are yet to be decided but a full tank of BPA Ltd branded bullshit is likely to cost £100 (generously discounted to £60 if paid within 14 days of fuel stop).
Appealing to the council is like playing chess with a pigeon. You might be a chess grand master but the pigeon will always knock all the pieces over, shit on the board and then strut around triumphantly.

Offline The Bald Eagle

  • Administrator
  • Follower
  • *****
  • Posts: 4363
  • THE lowest common denominator
Re: Parking industry hailed as the future of motoring
« Reply #1 on: 22 May, 2015, 10:15:33 AM »
Perhaps the BPA Ltd could take a leaf out of the politicians' election campaign booklet and hire this bus?

They could use it to travel to and from Parkex and the like, and they could rename it the "Bullshit Battle Bus." ;D

Offline BGB

  • Follower
  • **
  • Posts: 661
Re: Parking industry hailed as the future of motoring
« Reply #2 on: 22 May, 2015, 02:25:08 PM »

Such a bus would be self fueling and run forever without stopping (until it needed new tyres or broke down)!