Thought you might like to see my latest parchment, recently dispatched.
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Dear Mr Lester
I am writing to you in your capacity as head of corporate resources at London Councils and also as head of governance at Popla.
I recently had some dealings with one of the BPA Ltd's members (G24 Ltd) and fortunately I persuaded them to waive their parking charge.
However, because of that unfortunate experience I have since been reluctant to park my chariot in any private car parks where your client's (the BPA Ltd.) members provide enforcement services to the land owner.
Fortunately I spotted a little snippet on the Parking Prankster's blog (see
http://parking-prankster.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/popla-caught-secretly-coaching-parking.html) that has inspired me to contact you in an attempt to enlist your help should I, or indeed any of the lads in the slave army ever receive another private parking ticket in a car park where enforcement is run by one of your client's members.
We would very much appreciate it if you could arrange some coaching sessions for the lads at some of our local camps, to demonstrate how best to contest Parking Charge Notices at Popla. I do appreciate that your time is limited due to your many commitments, particularly because you have to work so hard at maintaining the illusion of complete independence between the posts you hold with London Councils, Popla, the European Parking Association and the BPA Ltd, but if you could spare us a little of your time we would be much obliged.
On the other hand, if you don't have time, perhaps you could change into your BPA Ltd hat and ask one of the BPA Ltd's members (Parking Eye Ltd for example) to knock us up a quick generic statement that guarantees us a win at Popla. Of course you might want to run this past the equally independent lead assessor Mr Greenslade, so that he can give it his seal of approval before sending it out in a newsletter to all motorists, in much the same way as was done when distributing the generic witness statements to BPA Ltd. members.
And as in the case of the so called “witness” statement that the private parking contractors (PPCs) are currently putting in to Popla on behalf of the land owners, could you please get them to design one for us to put in on behalf of a third party, in this case a mate of ours called Santa Claus, which says that Santa has put the perpetrator of this heinous crime on his naughty list, that that should be sufficient punishment, and therefore Popla should allow the driver's appeal.
I know this may sound a little frivolous and it would never carry any weight in a court of law, but since the PPC's statement would carry an equal amount of weight (i.e. none whatsoever) were it ever put before a proper court, we don't see this as a problem.
I have c.c.'d in several parties whom I consider may be interested in your replies, as I am sure they would be most interested to see how you will try to level the playing field for the motorist now that you have been caught coaching (completely independently of course) BPA Ltd members on how to win at Popla.
Kindly acknowledge safe receipt of this communication.
Sincere vestrum
Spartacus
