Due to the government’s resolute refusal to regulate the forum sector, the NoToMob have decided to self regulate. From now on unregulated private limited companies can complain about the content of posts on the site where the complaint would be reviewed in line with the NoToMob’s accredited complaints procedure.
Private limited companies should firstly outline the basis of the perceived injustice (It’s usually perceived since if you are part of the parking industry then it would be very difficult to insult you). You will then be fobbed off repeatedly with such tosh as
“We can confirm that user XXXXXXX is in fact a member of the NoToMob”. If you still want us to conduct an investigation in line with the NoToMob’s accredited complaints procedure, the user under investigation will then be required thoroughly investigate themselves. They will obviously be best placed to conduct the investigation as they are unlikely to misinterpret the content of their own posts. You would then be advised of the outcome but only after some lengthy fobbing off and only if you are really persistent. If you are at all unhappy with the outcome then the user in question will be asked to further investigate themselves. Once they have assured the site admins that they have never breached the NoToMob’s Code of Practice then a final decision will be made.
To show we mean business the following users have been issued with sanction points,
User Sanction Points ReasonGG88 2 points being naughty
WW55 3 points extended naughtiness
LL33 7 points disrespecting clangers
VV77 9.7 points artistic interpretation
Any user who accumulates 12 points within a 12 month period will be entitled to claim a free V-mask. We have to get rid of the bloody things somehow now that $chunting has become obsolete.
The NoToMob are the recognised authority on forum advice and are committed to raising standards in the forum sector. We can achieve this by placing the parking weasel at the heart of our thinking.